October 25 – Today it’s been six months. Liliana is 6-months old in heaven. I’ve been thinking about what I would write on this anniversary for the last couple of weeks, but nothing was coming to me. I thought about sharing the video from her memorial service, but I’m not quite ready for that yet. I thought about a poem, but she already knows everything in my heart and how I feel about her. What more can I say on this special anniversary day?

This blog and my writing about Liliana has always come easy because it’s been organic and from my heart. And I never want to force a topic just to have something to post. As of 6 p.m. yesterday, I still didn’t know what I wanted to say.

And then my husband and I attended our Alpha class (a Christian faith course) last night where the topic was on God’s purpose for our lives and how he guides us. It was by far the best class I’ve heard since we started this program seven weeks ago. It’s almost as if the speaker was talking directly to me.

He gave this great analogy about how our life’s journey and what God wants for us is like the GPS navigation in our vehicles. The navigation gives us the best recommended path to get to where we’re going, and yet sometimes we think we know a better way and disregard it. And when we do go our own way or make a wrong turn, the GPS simply re-routes the map to get you back on track. And it will politely say ‘Turn around as soon as possible.’  And no matter how many wrong turns we make, the voice navigation will always patiently and calmly help us to correct course. And when we finally get to where we’re going, it says ‘you have reached your destination.’

The analogy is pretty straightforward, yet equally powerful. God gives us his rule book on how to live our lives through the Bible – he shows us the correct course. It’s not meant to torture us or cause us stress any more than the NBA rule book is meant to make the sport less fun for the players, but instead it provides a blueprint of how to live our best lives possible and be happy. But we still veer off course and often times, just like a wrong turn on the GPS, we end up in a worse off situation.

I know I’ve taken many wrong turns in my life, but God has always gently steered me back. Never more so than this past year. But I can see now that my course correction started almost two years ago when my husband had recommitted to our faith and started trying to draw me in more. He would often want to share what he was reading – sometimes I was interested, other times not. Some of it would stick, but most I would forget. I was a bit resistant to the changes at first because I was comfortable in my life, even happy. But slowly over time, my heart began to change and my attitude softened. The more he would share, the more it would make me think and question if I was living according to my faith.

So by the time we received the news on Liliana’s diagnosis, my heart was primed and ready to fully turn to God. He knew I would need Him more than ever before and so He started calling me last year, knowing that it would take a while for me to listen.

And now, here I am, six months after going through the most difficult time of my life and I’m okay. I’m better than okay because I’m learning how to be heart-broken and yet still happy at the same time. It’s a delicate balance for sure, but one God has been teaching me along the way.

Mark Twain said the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

For Liliana, those days were both on April 25. Her life had meaning and purpose far beyond the short time she was here. She has touched and inspired so many lives – none more than my own – and has helped other families who are going through their own difficult journeys. She’s also inspired others to renew their faith. I know this because I’ve heard from so many who have shared their wonderful experiences with me after hearing about Liliana and reading her story.

And now because of Liliana, I’m discovering my own plan and purpose for my life. I may not be able to see the entire route from where I am now, but I definitely know where my final destination will be.

And so on this special 6-month anniversary of my sweet girl’s birth, my family will celebrate her life and her purpose. We’ll share our hearts and tell her how her big sister got to be ‘star of the day’ today on her special day. We’ll reflect on all of the blessings we have received this year. And we’ll praise the One who blessed us with our angel girl for all the good He has worked from her life.

‘In your heart you plan your course, but the Lord determines your steps.’ (Proverbs 16:9)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)