November 23 – Seven months ago it would’ve been hard to imagine celebrating the holidays, much less feeling thankful for my blessings. This year, since Jan. 18, has been the most difficult year of my life. And while it’s easy to focus on what you lost or don’t have and feel sorry for yourself, it doesn’t feel very good to do that.

And I know Liliana wouldn’t want that. I keep reminding myself (albeit less often than I used to) that she is beyond joyful where she is. She is not shedding one single tear over her being in heaven instead of here with us and she doesn’t want us too either.

Since her birth, all I’ve wanted to do was honor her. So that’s what I focused on. From her memorial service, to her flower garden to selecting a perfect monument  to my vocational ministry to writing this blog, I have tried to honor her memory and show my love for her.

So what honor would it bring her to dwell on my sadness or the could’ve or should’ve beens? And what honor would it bring God to ignore all of the other many blessings in my life? None.

Liliana has brought so much good into our lives and hearts and brought us closer as a family and to God than I ever thought possible. So today on this Thanksgiving, I am thankful. I am thankful for my precious daughter in heaven that watches over our family and prays for us. She is missed every day, but loved just as deeply as if she were here.

And although it may sound strange to say, I am thankful for this year and the changes it has brought to me personally. Of course if I could change things and have Liliana here, I would without hesitation. But absent that, I can still look at all the good that has come and hopefully will continue to come and be thankful. As I always have said, nothing changes unless something changes. Had we not had Liliana come into our lives the way she did and eternally alter our lives, we would be on different paths. I would never have grown spiritually the way I have or found my vocational ministry. My husband and I are getting involved in our Christian community and reaching out to people that I know will lead to good. I have ‘cleaned out my closet’ quite a bit and am trying to live a more meaningful and purposeful life – one that Liliana is proud of.

I don’t take things for granted like I used to. Life, family, faith, love….I’m daily aware of those things in my life, and boy am I thankful. When my girls cuddle on my chest every morning when they wake up, I gently kiss their little heads and give thanks for these precious children who I’m blessed to have call me mommy. It is in these early morning cuddles that I am fully present in the moment. And so I pray and give thanks.

So while today is a day that everyone reflects on their many blessings, I hope it’s not the only day. God is good every day and deserves our thanks. We don’t know how good we have it until sometimes it’s too late. I remember seeing a funny meme on social media years ago that said, ‘I wish I was as skinny as I was back when I thought I was fat.’

Like most things in life, it’s funny because it’s true. We fail to recognize the good in our lives in the moment until it’s taken away. I’m thankful I no longer do that. I’m thankful for more than I could write in this short blog. I’m thankful for all of you who are journeying this path with me. And I pray on this Thanksgiving and every day, you are all blessed with the important things in this life that will transcend into the next. Happy Thanksgiving friends.

 ‘All this is for your benefit, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed every day.’ (2 Corinthians 4:15-16)