October 4 – When I was in my 20s, my friends and I would half-jokingly talk about one day having kids, quitting our jobs and spending our time having play-dates and pedicures. When I got into my 30s, I was well-established in a career that I loved and became more mature in my thinking.  I still thought about staying at home with any children I would have eventually, but my career goal evolved to wanting to find more meaningful work. While I was good at my profession and was able to find purpose and enjoyment in my work, I didn’t feel like I was serving a greater good. I always prayed that God would lead me toward a vocation that would be fulfilling for my heart and not just my mind.

Today, I find myself in the very blessed position to be able to do both (minus the pedicures… I still haven’t gotten one since Liliana was born, so don’t judge!). I can stay home with my girls and am now able to volunteer my time and talents toward something that is deeply personal to me.

Since Liliana came into our lives and especially after losing her, I have been keenly aware of, and sensitive to, every pregnant woman who has crossed my path. And not just the women who physically are in front of me, but also the general conversations around pregnancy, infant loss and abortion. Maybe it’s the fact that this year, more than any other I can recall, has brought to light the major social issues that divide this country. Or maybe it’s because I lost the most precious gift from God in my life.

Whatever the reason, I have felt God calling me toward something bigger since Liliana was born, I just couldn’t discern what it was. But over time, as my husband and I would discuss politics and faith, the topic that always would tug at my heart the most was the protection of the most vulnerable of us all – unborn babies. At some point this summer, God has impressed upon my heart a desire to stand for these babies, for the sanctity of life and for Liliana.

I knew I wanted to be able to share Liliana’s story, be a witness, and help others who are dealing with their own infant loss or considering termination, I just didn’t know where to start. I always enjoyed public speaking (crazy, I know) and mentoring at work, so I was searching for an avenue where I could potentially do both.

I prayed about it and asked God to show me the next step. I knew I had to do the work, but I was hoping for some guidance as to where to begin. Then one Saturday morning last month, my family and I went out for breakfast and to the park. This is a park we love taking our girls to and spend a fair amount of time at during the summer. I had recently purchased a brick for Liliana that would be placed around the park’s main landmark statue that was just renovated. We hadn’t seen it yet and didn’t know when it would be set. On this particular beautiful morning, we found her brick with her precious name inscribed. Instantly the tears came as I was flooded with all the emotions of my daughter’s passing once again. I’m sure we looked a little strange crying over her brick and taking pictures with it, but I cherish any opportunity where I can honor my daughter’s memory and I can’t apologize for the emotions that come with that.

As we walked toward the playground shortly thereafter, my husband pointed out that there was a pro-life bike ride taking place under the park pavilion. I had no idea what I was going to say or do, but I felt compelled to go check it out.

I was still emotional from seeing Liliana’s brick. Through tears and half-coherent sentences, I thankfully managed to get directed to one of the program directors for the center. She told me that their organization was a Christian pro-life ministry aimed at helping women with pregnancy care, post pregnancy needs and in finding alternatives to abortion. I shared my story and that I was searching for ways to get involved and that I literally came across them in our path this morning. One thing I’ve learned this year and have said before: with God, there are no coincidences.

Fast forward several weeks and I am now training to become a counselor with this ministry and to be able to go into schools speaking about abstinence. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, I’ll be able to counsel these women and support them through a difficult decision. In the end, helping these women will be about meeting them where they are in their lives and circumstances and showing them another way. I know it won’t be easy and many will go on to do what they were going to do, but if I can help even one woman and save one baby, then I’ll be filled with more joy, love and peace than an entire career of accomplishments. I remember often joking at work with my team, when it was easy to get worked up over things that in the big picture didn’t matter that much… I’d often say, ‘it’s not like we’re saving any lives’. Well, what if…?

With everything that has happened in just a short amount of time and the doors that are opening, I have thanked Liliana for her prayers for me and told her that we would walk this road together. She is, after all, at the heart of my vocation.

And now, after years of searching for what my bigger purpose in life is and how I’m supposed to use my talents for good in service to God, I’ve taken this first step. If you would’ve asked me a year ago where I would be today, I could never have imagined all that would have transpired with Liliana, my faith and now my vocation. I’m not sure if this pregnancy care center is my final stop or if it’s just the start of my vocation, but at least I know that I’m finally on the right road… and my girl is right there with me.