Aug. 2, 2018 – A couple of weeks ago I got to participate in a beautiful community service event, but it is one that most people probably don’t even know exists. It was a bereavement box assembly for local hospitals. Volunteers put together 350 boxes that will go to parents after the loss of their baby. The boxes are filled with beautiful mementos that they will surely treasure one day after the grief subsides enough for them to open their boxes.
It’s heartbreaking to think of the loss of these babies before they even happen. There are 350 local families who are going to experience the greatest loss of their lives as they prepare for the happiest time instead.
Several board members from my infant loss support group volunteered in honor of our babies. There were probably about 40-50 other volunteers that came and went throughout the day. While there were hospital nurses and family that were there, I found that majority of the volunteers there had personal connections to the cause.
Once all of the stations were ready for assembly, everyone lined up to grab pink or blue boxes to start stuffing them with various items – hand and foot molds, teddy bears, hand-knit baby outfits and blankets, photo frames and a number of other meaningful items.
At that first moment when we all lined up, grown women – myself included -all became like children asking for their favorite color box. Not because we have any disdain for certain colors, but because each and every one of us were thinking of the child we lost and we wanted to, no needed to, make that first box for them. Pink for me please. And without question, but with empathy in her eyes, the mother looking at me understood and handed me the pink box for my baby girl.
Pink for Liliana, Angelica, and Elizabeth. Blue for Jacob and Jude.
While we were undoubtedly thinking about our babies, we were also asked to think about the babies whose parents would be the recipients of these boxes. As you could imagine, it was emotional.
I was happy to be able to donate ‘Forget Me Not’ seeds to the boxes in memory of Liliana. It’s a small thing, but I hope they will bring beauty to memorial gardens that have yet to be planted.
As heavy of a community service as it was, we were all so happy to be there to participate in such a personal and meaningful event. We all shared our stories, talked about our babies in a completely safe and normal manner and enjoyed the sisterhood and brotherhood with parents who know our sorrow.
I remember well getting my bereavement box. It really was and still is beautiful. I couldn’t look at it for probably the first week or two, but when I finally did, I found wonderful treasures in it that are more valuable to me than anything I own. Liliana’s footprint mold, her birth stats and footprints in a picture frame, a memory disk of her pictures, her teddy bear, and her beautifully knit hat, booties, blanket and sweater. There was more too that I would discover over time in the first couple of months. And now I know that each of the items were placed with love from other parents who knew what I would be going through. I wish I could thank them and tell them what it means to me, but then again, they already know. And to the families who will receive the pink boxes that I lovingly put together, please know that from my angel to yours, it was my honor. 
